What should i do about the ostrich in my closet?

i cant get to my rain boots and its laying eggs in my dirty clothes hamper.

What should i do about the ostrich in my closet?
Put a saddle on it and ride it around while yelling, "Onward, Allegre, onward! We musn't be late for the party!" Make sure to wear a funny hat.
Reply:Be more accepting and make really big omelets
Reply:borrow a couple of lions from your local zoo and let em loose on that silly bird. how did it get in there anyways?
Reply:Kill the bird save and eat the thing hatch the egg when it grows kill it hatch its egg and so on and so on lmao
Reply:Don't forget to feed and water her.
Reply:What you need is a sandbox, fill with clean sand, place in bedroom and open your closet door. Make sure your ostrich can see the sandbox. oh, almost forgot, purchase a bale of hay to lay out on the floor beside the sandbox to make a nest. Then all you just have to is sit back and wait, soon the ostrich will be drawn to the sandbox and the new nest for her eggs. You see, ostrich's love to bury their head in sand and need a nest for their eggs. If done right your ostrich will no longer be taking refuge in your closet, and you will be able to go out in the rain and not get your feet wet. Nor will you dirty laundry be covered with ostrich eggs. Note: You could make a buck buck selling baby ostrich's on eBay. Consider yourself lucky, you only had an ostrich, you could of had skeletons!!! let me know if this works for you!
Reply:Feed it and you might consider keeping your laundry elsewhere!! Best of luck!! ;o)
Reply:Are you serious?
Reply:Let it out. And this is not a holiday question.
Reply:How can you see him if he can't see you?
Reply:go and sit with it for a while....have a chat
Reply:Get a gun and blow the hell out of it or sell it to the zoo for some ridiculous price.
Reply:makea fan from the feathers, and make sure you clean the poop up, or your closet will stink!
Reply:umm...call animal control then have them move it to a fenced area.
Reply:Put him out now. You know what they say about feeding a stray ostrich.
Reply:KILL IT
Reply:Cut its head off and wear it as a hat.
Reply:Well I certianly think some nice ostrich food and an outing would be good for it.
Reply:yeah, well the elephant in my living room just took a dump!
Reply:Leave a trail of whatever ostriches' eat. or - take your loses and find another closet.
Reply:eat the eggs and clean up all the sand..that should get him to leave.
Reply:If you are really serious, than coax it out with FOOD!
Reply:if i were you i would lure out the ostrich out of your closet with some pepsi and nacho chips... after it is out you have to
Reply:Make a wish to make it go away!
Reply:Someone needs a medication review!
Reply:Get a hungry tiger to chase it out
Reply:say hi for me.
Reply:Call the zoo.
Reply:Are you sure that it isn't a feather duster?
Reply:mate it with the one in your head
Reply:Feed it well daily. Provide more dirty clothes for ostrich's comfort. Invite friends for some big ostrich-egg-breakfast-omlette when available and buy a new pair of rain boots ( maybe with ventilated soles)



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