Poetry should go for a walk at night
Through the park
Laying in the grass
Looking up at the stars
With you
Poetry should put on a dress
With blackened leather boots
And sing for all of the ladies and gentlemen
Who came for miles just too see her sing
Poetry should put on her galoshes and dance in the rain
Poetry should splish and splash with all the kids
Poetry should let the rain fall upon her head
With not a care if she gets wet
Poetry should sit down and warm up by the fire
And sip some hot tea
And watch all the kids run up and down playing
Until she falls asleep
Poetry should paint you a picture of love
One with hearts and kisses and no hate
Showing us how to share and be kind
One with bright colors and full of love
Poetry should make the colors of the world shine
Making all of the ups and downs feel like you’ve done well
Poetry should make your forgotten memories explode
Into this whirl of pictures of your life making every second worth while
What do you thik of this?
this is hot...i love poetry..it is very unique and different
Reply:It's really good. Of course you can never edit a poem or any writing for that matter, too much. Just keep reading it and when you feel it's enough, make it your final draft. I'm a poet too, so I'm very impressed w/ other poets. Good job!
Reply:That is very nice!
Reply:very pretty....go for it...
Reply:good, i like it
yes, edit it
Reply:I like it. I would edit the last couple lines. The last paragraph is a little long and drawn out. Simplify.
The first paragraph is kind of the odd ball in the group. It isn't as intricate and rolling as the rest of them. I like the intro, but it seems choppy - maybe not choppy but just has a different cadence. "Through the park" isn't as juicy as "blackened leather boots".
Maybe each paragraph could build - more rolling descriptions - more complexities/intricacies and then the last paragraph could be short and echo the first paragraph. Maybe have "Poetry" return back to the beginning - make it go full circle.
Very nice. Very inspiring.
Reply:it's okay...
Reply:I like it. It's good!
microsoft excel
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment