What do you thik of this?

Poetry should go for a walk at night


Through the park


Laying in the grass


Looking up at the stars


With you





Poetry should put on a dress


With blackened leather boots


And sing for all of the ladies and gentlemen


Who came for miles just too see her sing





Poetry should put on her galoshes and dance in the rain


Poetry should splish and splash with all the kids


Poetry should let the rain fall upon her head


With not a care if she gets wet





Poetry should sit down and warm up by the fire


And sip some hot tea


And watch all the kids run up and down playing


Until she falls asleep





Poetry should paint you a picture of love


One with hearts and kisses and no hate


Showing us how to share and be kind


One with bright colors and full of love





Poetry should make the colors of the world shine


Making all of the ups and downs feel like you’ve done well


Poetry should make your forgotten memories explode


Into this whirl of pictures of your life making every second worth while

What do you thik of this?
this is hot...i love poetry..it is very unique and different
Reply:It's really good. Of course you can never edit a poem or any writing for that matter, too much. Just keep reading it and when you feel it's enough, make it your final draft. I'm a poet too, so I'm very impressed w/ other poets. Good job!
Reply:That is very nice!
Reply:very pretty....go for it...
Reply:good, i like it


yes, edit it
Reply:I like it. I would edit the last couple lines. The last paragraph is a little long and drawn out. Simplify.





The first paragraph is kind of the odd ball in the group. It isn't as intricate and rolling as the rest of them. I like the intro, but it seems choppy - maybe not choppy but just has a different cadence. "Through the park" isn't as juicy as "blackened leather boots".





Maybe each paragraph could build - more rolling descriptions - more complexities/intricacies and then the last paragraph could be short and echo the first paragraph. Maybe have "Poetry" return back to the beginning - make it go full circle.








Very nice. Very inspiring.
Reply:it's okay...
Reply:I like it. It's good!



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